Seasons of Life

We all go through different seasons in our lives. Some we choose, some we don’t, but life must go on. On October 13, 2014, I was sitting at my desk at work, and I received a phone call no one should ever receive. “Shanna, your dad was in an accident. He was hit by a train.” “What? NO!!!” My world came crashing down around me. The next thing I knew, Ken was picking me up, and we were waiting for Dustin and Stacey to arrive from St. Cloud so we could go to Sioux Falls to be with our dad. It was the longest drive of my life, and the worst two days of my life as we waited by my dad’s side in the ICU at Avera McKennan only to hear the news we prayed we would not hear.

Yes, you’re probably wondering what about those horrible days when I was a child and lost my mother. I was so young, only 12 years old. The days then were terrible too, but yet I was only a child. How much did I really understand besides my mom was now an angel in heaven? Those too were years and days that no one should have to go through. Those too, were the worst days of my life.

Now what? Where do I go from here? Where do we go? My family, my siblings, my nieces, Linda, all the rest of my family? We don’t have an answer for that, and I know that’s okay. We take one day at a time. Some days are harder than others. Some days the tears come out of nowhere. We get by. That’s what we do. We’re all trying to figure out our new normal, with no parents, no Grandpa or Grandma, no significant other, no brother, no Jigsaw. Life is so not fair, but this is the life God chose for us. Even though we will never know or understand why He took our parents at such a young age, we still have to go on, and we still have to believe that God is good.

I don’t know where this new season is going to take us, and we will continue to mourn our loss, and smile at our memories. We had so many wonderful memories. We are so fortunate that we are a close family with so much love to give one another. Life will never be the same, but life must go on. So I’m going to go ahead with my plans that I made the day before my dad’s accident, and keep up on my blog. We all need to continue on with the things we enjoy, and the things we love to do. That’s what our dad would want.

We still have so many hard days ahead without our dad. Holidays, weddings, birthdays, children/grandchildren. It’s not fair that both of our parents have to miss so much. It’s not fair to us. Not fair to our children. The only thing we can do now is keep their memories alive, and that I know we will do.

I miss both of my parents more than words can say, but I know that they loved each and every one of us so very, very much. That is what I hold on to, everyday. So ready or not, onto our new Season of Life.

Here’s a little poem I found that says exactly how we feel.

It broke our hearts to lose you

but you did not go alone.

A part of us went with you,

the day God took you home.

If tears could build a stairway,

and heartaches make a lane,
we’d walk our way to heaven,
and bring you back again.
In life we loved you dearly,
in death we love you still,
in our hearts you hold a place
no one could ever fill.